Rug burn.

Who has sex on their living room floor? Not me. Not now. Not ever, ever again.

Recently, an old flame of mine came to town and decided he wanted to spend some time with me. Said time turned into a fancy bottle of wine, an episode of Grey's Anatomy, and a beautiful session of love-making on the living room floor.

BAD IDEA. Up until this point, I'd never in my life experienced the death that is rug burn. Let me tell you, I'd rather have been stabbed with a screwdriver than encounter such a "boo-boo." What a painful experience! And then when the post-rug burn attempt at sleeping rolls around, there's nothing left to do but lie in bed and consistently remind yourself that it was worth it. What a mess!

My advice? The bed is never too far away. And if you don't have a bed, find some linoleum, STAT!