I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For… Necks?

By Rochelle Taylor

He seemed nice. He was attractive. He was witty. He seemed… well, normal. Being outside of the typical realm of guys I dated, I thought I might give it a go. We went on a date that involved all of the things that normal people do on dates: coffee, talking, eating, walking. Then it came time to say goodnight.

He went to shake my hand. I made fun of him for it, so he kissed me. And, despite the fact that a couple of times he tried to lick my tonsils, he was not a bad kisser. But then he stopped. He asked if I was mad at him. Being thoroughly confused, I asked him why I would be mad. He said “because I kissed you.” After internally laughing and wondering if I was possibly back in high school, I told him I was indeed not mad at him, and we went back to kissing.

Then he did it. He licked my neck. Not in a soft, sensual way, or even in a rough kinky way. In a licking ice cream way. He did this three times, leaving slobber all over my neck. I wiped it off and told him goodnight.

A few days later he called, and I figured he had not been too psycho, so I gave him a second chance, without incident. Then came the third date. I decided I would invite him back to my place. My roommate was not home, and we would have the place to ourselves. We began kissing. All of a sudden, he stopped and asked “Are we going to have sex now?” I told him I wasn’t planning on it.

Now this statement would’ve normally been a hint to most guys. But not this one. He went on to tell me that because of his injury (he had hurt his knee in a skateboarding accident. Yes, skateboarding.) he did not think that he would be able to have sex. I stopped him by saying “I’m just kissin’ ya”. But, then he became obsessed – grilling me about whether or not I would have an orgasm if we did have sex. I kept pushing off his questions and finally he decided it was time to leave.

Then we went out again. We ended up at his place, where he had roommates that I did not know about. I was told that I had to be very quiet to make sure that I did not wake them, as they would tell his aunt (who he rented the room from) I was there, and that was against the rules. Goodbye, normal. We started kissing again, and I told him that it could not go farther, as I could not be quiet. And, I had not shaved my legs, as our date had been a last-minute thing and I did not have time to shave.

Neither of these things deterred him. He used the line I thought was only an urban myth: “can’t I just put the tip in? Just for a second? I just want to see what you feel like!” He kept pushing and pushing. I was able finally to convince him that when I said no, I meant no. Suddenly, it became too late and he told me that he needed to go to bed, effectively kicking me out. I walked to my car and realized I would never talk to him again. I would not tolerate disrespect. Such a bizarre ending to the saga of The Licker…