Twenty-Something and Single: The End

By K. C. Morgan

I thought it would be a good idea, for my last column, to write about the worst dating experience I’ve ever had. So, I got to thinking about all those bad dates in my past. Each memory was more horrifying than the next – a virtual visual nightmare of what happens when romance goes bad.
It left me with a conundrum. Should I write about that horrible date with the techno weirdo, the one who took me to a crazy dance club and then proceeded to have an 80s-movie-style dance-off with a gentleman wearing multicolored lights? Should I describe the horror I felt as I watched, helpless, as beat-heavy music without lyrics thrummed around my head?
Or would I write instead about my traumatic experience at the lake? Stranded with a drunk companion and the child-ridden family of a man I barely knew, only to discover after the incredibly long evening was over that I’d actually had money taken right out of my purse?
Perhaps I ought to talk about the night I went to request a song at the bar, only to stumble on my platform shoes as I dismounted? I ended up at the emergency room that night, drunken and in a wheelchair, and at work two days later on crutches – just another dating catastrophe.
This kaleidoscope of bad dates left me with a sour feeling, and I came to long for the end of this experience being single. It’s rough out there, and seemingly normal men can create horrific dating experiences that linger with us long after the few unbearable dating hours are over.
But, does anything really end? Relationships past always come back to haunt us, old lovers appear when we wish they wouldn’t, names get mentioned in casual conversation that make us silently cringe. Some romantic relationships fail, only to evolve into friendships that create new relationships and experiences. Dates end and begin again, and eventually you feel like you’re repeating certain parts of your life endlessly.
Even when you aren’t single anymore, some inner part of you clings to that former independence. Some part of you remembers days when you had to go it alone, when you breathed a sigh of relief just to be back in your own apartment all by yourself. So, in its way, being single is something that sticks.
No matter what else may happen, afterward.
And so I say good-bye – not to dating, not to being single, and not just yet good-bye to my twenties, but at least for now to this column. But perhaps saying good-bye to this column is really saying hello to something new…something unexpected.
In closing, I’d like to quote a line from the movie This is Spinal Tap, not because it’s a fabulous testament to being single, but because it’s a movie that’ll always make you laugh – no matter how bad the date or the relationship. David St. Hubbins: “How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you.”
Indeed.

How Old is Too Old For Casual Dating?

By K.C. Morgan

Single, at an Older Age

When you’re young and single, the world is full of possibilities. There are lots of other young singles to connect with, lots of opportunities to meet new people, and plenty of activities to enjoy together. But, being divorced, widowed, or single at a more advanced age can feel very, very lonely. Today’s singles’ scene seems to be a meat market for the young…and that makes finding an age-appropriate mate a very big task.

You may not be ready to be married or even to commit to a serious relationship, but does that mean you can’t enjoy casual dating? Absolutely not! Even for older singles, there is a thriving and active community out there where you can find someone to spend time with, and it doesn’t have to get any more serious than that (unless, you want it to!).

Find Age-Appropriate Mates

For older singles, going to singles’ mixers and bars is little more than a waste of time. Such places are for younger daters, and only 9% of women and 2% of men have said they’ve found a relationship in a bar or club. There are some places to find singles from another generation, however. A good place to start is through assisted living communities. Even if you don’t live in one of these places, they often put together events and mixers that allow seniors to mingle. Often, churches organize events for older singles as well. Also, don’t give up on the online community. There are plenty of older singles who use matchmaking sites.

Are You Compatible?

No one wants to waste their time by going out on bad first dates. A good way to avoid this is to determine how compatible you are with your potential date. Use the following mental checklist to see if the date is worth the effort:

Is it easy to make conversation?
Do you have a few things in common?
Do you enjoy some of the same things?
Most importantly, do you enjoy the time you have spent together?

Are They Interested?

Sometimes, you may have a candidate in mind when you’re considering a date. Find out if they’re interested by looking for a few warning signs:

They approach you for conversation.
They make it a point to seek you out – either for a friendly smile, a wave, or a greeting.
They remember details about you, i.e. likes and dislikes, your regular habits, etc.
They invite you to group activities and events with friends.

Ask Them Out!

Even when you feel ready to date and you’re interested in someone who’s probably interested in you, asking someone out is a frightening experience. The fear of rejection is huge – but don’t let it be enough to stop you. If you’d like to go on a date with a certain person, the key to saving face (even in the face of rejection) is keeping it casual. Make it sound like a simple suggestion when you see each other out and about – “would you like to go get a cup of coffee?” for example.