By K.C. Morgan
Single, at an Older Age
When you’re young and single, the world is full of possibilities. There are lots of other young singles to connect with, lots of opportunities to meet new people, and plenty of activities to enjoy together. But, being divorced, widowed, or single at a more advanced age can feel very, very lonely. Today’s singles’ scene seems to be a meat market for the young…and that makes finding an age-appropriate mate a very big task.
You may not be ready to be married or even to commit to a serious relationship, but does that mean you can’t enjoy casual dating? Absolutely not! Even for older singles, there is a thriving and active community out there where you can find someone to spend time with, and it doesn’t have to get any more serious than that (unless, you want it to!).
Find Age-Appropriate Mates
For older singles, going to singles’ mixers and bars is little more than a waste of time. Such places are for younger daters, and only 9% of women and 2% of men have said they’ve found a relationship in a bar or club. There are some places to find singles from another generation, however. A good place to start is through assisted living communities. Even if you don’t live in one of these places, they often put together events and mixers that allow seniors to mingle. Often, churches organize events for older singles as well. Also, don’t give up on the online community. There are plenty of older singles who use matchmaking sites.
Are You Compatible?
No one wants to waste their time by going out on bad first dates. A good way to avoid this is to determine how compatible you are with your potential date. Use the following mental checklist to see if the date is worth the effort:
Is it easy to make conversation?
Do you have a few things in common?
Do you enjoy some of the same things?
Most importantly, do you enjoy the time you have spent together?
Are They Interested?
Sometimes, you may have a candidate in mind when you’re considering a date. Find out if they’re interested by looking for a few warning signs:
They approach you for conversation.
They make it a point to seek you out – either for a friendly smile, a wave, or a greeting.
They remember details about you, i.e. likes and dislikes, your regular habits, etc.
They invite you to group activities and events with friends.
Ask Them Out!
Even when you feel ready to date and you’re interested in someone who’s probably interested in you, asking someone out is a frightening experience. The fear of rejection is huge – but don’t let it be enough to stop you. If you’d like to go on a date with a certain person, the key to saving face (even in the face of rejection) is keeping it casual. Make it sound like a simple suggestion when you see each other out and about – “would you like to go get a cup of coffee?” for example.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Can Long-Distance Dating Work?
By K.C. Morgan
When you meet someone that you have a real connection and real chemistry with, it seems almost like a miracle. When you find out that same someone has to live far away from you, it seems doomed. But, is it? The truth about long distance dating is this: it can work, but only in the short term.
The Internet has opened up a whole new realm of long distance dating, making separated relationships a mainstream diversion for the lovelorn. With any relationship, there are dating hurdles to overcome. With long distance dating, there are a few more. Problems you’ll probably encounter with a long distance relationship include:
Jealousy. Usually a factor in all relationships, jealousy often becomes more acute when there’s a real distance between the two of you. The only way to cope with jealousy is through trust – the cornerstone of any healthy relationship.
Loneliness. When your sweetie is far away, you’re going to suffer all kinds of lonely pains. Holidays are especially tough, and being around other couples will make the wound seem to hurt a little more. Combat this by maintaining an active social life with your friends, spending time with single people, and spending plenty of time communicating with your partner via phone, letters, and e-mail.
Expenses. If you expect to see each other in the flesh at all (and you should, as often as possible, just to keep the chemistry alive), you’re going to rack up a lot of travel expenses. The burden of travel is something that should be shared by both parties, to make it a little more doable. Creative budgeting and saving (and making travel arrangements several weeks in advance) can help cut down on these expenses, and make it easier for you two to spend real time together.
No matter how well you two make the long distance thing work, it’s a situation that can’t go on for ever. If you want to enjoy a true, committed relationship, the two of you have to at least live in the same city eventually. Long distance dating only works in the short term, because at some point you’re both going to want more. Before it all falls apart, you’re going to have to consider a more permanent solution to the distance between the two of you. Otherwise, you’re really just wasting your time on something that can’t possibly last. After all…you don’t want to get married by proxy, do you?
When you meet someone that you have a real connection and real chemistry with, it seems almost like a miracle. When you find out that same someone has to live far away from you, it seems doomed. But, is it? The truth about long distance dating is this: it can work, but only in the short term.
The Internet has opened up a whole new realm of long distance dating, making separated relationships a mainstream diversion for the lovelorn. With any relationship, there are dating hurdles to overcome. With long distance dating, there are a few more. Problems you’ll probably encounter with a long distance relationship include:
Jealousy. Usually a factor in all relationships, jealousy often becomes more acute when there’s a real distance between the two of you. The only way to cope with jealousy is through trust – the cornerstone of any healthy relationship.
Loneliness. When your sweetie is far away, you’re going to suffer all kinds of lonely pains. Holidays are especially tough, and being around other couples will make the wound seem to hurt a little more. Combat this by maintaining an active social life with your friends, spending time with single people, and spending plenty of time communicating with your partner via phone, letters, and e-mail.
Expenses. If you expect to see each other in the flesh at all (and you should, as often as possible, just to keep the chemistry alive), you’re going to rack up a lot of travel expenses. The burden of travel is something that should be shared by both parties, to make it a little more doable. Creative budgeting and saving (and making travel arrangements several weeks in advance) can help cut down on these expenses, and make it easier for you two to spend real time together.
No matter how well you two make the long distance thing work, it’s a situation that can’t go on for ever. If you want to enjoy a true, committed relationship, the two of you have to at least live in the same city eventually. Long distance dating only works in the short term, because at some point you’re both going to want more. Before it all falls apart, you’re going to have to consider a more permanent solution to the distance between the two of you. Otherwise, you’re really just wasting your time on something that can’t possibly last. After all…you don’t want to get married by proxy, do you?
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
How to Tell if Your Partner Has Been Cheating
By Sarah Cook
Most of us tend to believe that it’s hard to tell whether or not the one we love is cheating on us. That can sometimes be the case, but usually only if you’re lying to yourself. If you’ve come to believe that it “just couldn’t be,” then you’ll never see it as so, and will in turn be missing out on the truth.
So, how do you remain honest enough with yourself to be mindfully awake enough to know when your honey is doin’ you wrong? Here are ten easy-to-recognize signs that your partner is being unfaithful.
1. Your partner is suddenly “working late” and spends a noticeably less amount of time at home.
2. Your partner becomes sexually distant and cuts way back on the sex, or, seems to have lost interest in making love altogether.
3. Your partner stops bringing you around his or her friends, and makes awkward excuses as to why.
4. If you’re married, your partner starts “accidentally” leaving his or her wedding ring at home on more than one occasion.
5. Unexpected phone calls come to the house that just happen to be “wrong numbers” or random “buddies” who go unnamed.
6. Your partner starts regular fights with you over what would appear to be nothing…things you wouldn’t have fought about before.
7. Your partner has boy or girl friends that he or she doesn’t ever bring around you, and instead, is always “meeting.”
8. You partner is suddenly emotionally detached – doesn’t want to talk about things, doesn’t want to spend time with you, doesn’t have much to say in general.
9. Your partner becomes less affectionate and does less and less hand-holding, cuddling, and kissing.
10. Your partner starts lying to you about little things, possibly covering up the bigger ones.
We all know what a bummer it is to be cheated on, and it isn’t something we have to put up with. If you’re a fair and honest person, you deserve a fair and honest person as your partner. If any of these signs are existing in your relationship and your partner refuses to talk through them, or, if the talking doesn’t seem to work, couples therapy is your best bet. And, if he or she refuses that option, well, the solution is clear – love yourself enough to say goodbye and open your arms to the possibility of a new and more beautiful relationship in the future.
Most of us tend to believe that it’s hard to tell whether or not the one we love is cheating on us. That can sometimes be the case, but usually only if you’re lying to yourself. If you’ve come to believe that it “just couldn’t be,” then you’ll never see it as so, and will in turn be missing out on the truth.
So, how do you remain honest enough with yourself to be mindfully awake enough to know when your honey is doin’ you wrong? Here are ten easy-to-recognize signs that your partner is being unfaithful.
1. Your partner is suddenly “working late” and spends a noticeably less amount of time at home.
2. Your partner becomes sexually distant and cuts way back on the sex, or, seems to have lost interest in making love altogether.
3. Your partner stops bringing you around his or her friends, and makes awkward excuses as to why.
4. If you’re married, your partner starts “accidentally” leaving his or her wedding ring at home on more than one occasion.
5. Unexpected phone calls come to the house that just happen to be “wrong numbers” or random “buddies” who go unnamed.
6. Your partner starts regular fights with you over what would appear to be nothing…things you wouldn’t have fought about before.
7. Your partner has boy or girl friends that he or she doesn’t ever bring around you, and instead, is always “meeting.”
8. You partner is suddenly emotionally detached – doesn’t want to talk about things, doesn’t want to spend time with you, doesn’t have much to say in general.
9. Your partner becomes less affectionate and does less and less hand-holding, cuddling, and kissing.
10. Your partner starts lying to you about little things, possibly covering up the bigger ones.
We all know what a bummer it is to be cheated on, and it isn’t something we have to put up with. If you’re a fair and honest person, you deserve a fair and honest person as your partner. If any of these signs are existing in your relationship and your partner refuses to talk through them, or, if the talking doesn’t seem to work, couples therapy is your best bet. And, if he or she refuses that option, well, the solution is clear – love yourself enough to say goodbye and open your arms to the possibility of a new and more beautiful relationship in the future.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)