By K. C. Morgan
I thought it would be a good idea, for my last column, to write about the worst dating experience I’ve ever had. So, I got to thinking about all those bad dates in my past. Each memory was more horrifying than the next – a virtual visual nightmare of what happens when romance goes bad.
It left me with a conundrum. Should I write about that horrible date with the techno weirdo, the one who took me to a crazy dance club and then proceeded to have an 80s-movie-style dance-off with a gentleman wearing multicolored lights? Should I describe the horror I felt as I watched, helpless, as beat-heavy music without lyrics thrummed around my head?
Or would I write instead about my traumatic experience at the lake? Stranded with a drunk companion and the child-ridden family of a man I barely knew, only to discover after the incredibly long evening was over that I’d actually had money taken right out of my purse?
Perhaps I ought to talk about the night I went to request a song at the bar, only to stumble on my platform shoes as I dismounted? I ended up at the emergency room that night, drunken and in a wheelchair, and at work two days later on crutches – just another dating catastrophe.
This kaleidoscope of bad dates left me with a sour feeling, and I came to long for the end of this experience being single. It’s rough out there, and seemingly normal men can create horrific dating experiences that linger with us long after the few unbearable dating hours are over.
But, does anything really end? Relationships past always come back to haunt us, old lovers appear when we wish they wouldn’t, names get mentioned in casual conversation that make us silently cringe. Some romantic relationships fail, only to evolve into friendships that create new relationships and experiences. Dates end and begin again, and eventually you feel like you’re repeating certain parts of your life endlessly.
Even when you aren’t single anymore, some inner part of you clings to that former independence. Some part of you remembers days when you had to go it alone, when you breathed a sigh of relief just to be back in your own apartment all by yourself. So, in its way, being single is something that sticks.
No matter what else may happen, afterward.
And so I say good-bye – not to dating, not to being single, and not just yet good-bye to my twenties, but at least for now to this column. But perhaps saying good-bye to this column is really saying hello to something new…something unexpected.
In closing, I’d like to quote a line from the movie This is Spinal Tap, not because it’s a fabulous testament to being single, but because it’s a movie that’ll always make you laugh – no matter how bad the date or the relationship. David St. Hubbins: “How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you.”
Indeed.
Friday, September 7, 2007
I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For… Necks?
By Rochelle Taylor
He seemed nice. He was attractive. He was witty. He seemed… well, normal. Being outside of the typical realm of guys I dated, I thought I might give it a go. We went on a date that involved all of the things that normal people do on dates: coffee, talking, eating, walking. Then it came time to say goodnight.
He went to shake my hand. I made fun of him for it, so he kissed me. And, despite the fact that a couple of times he tried to lick my tonsils, he was not a bad kisser. But then he stopped. He asked if I was mad at him. Being thoroughly confused, I asked him why I would be mad. He said “because I kissed you.” After internally laughing and wondering if I was possibly back in high school, I told him I was indeed not mad at him, and we went back to kissing.
Then he did it. He licked my neck. Not in a soft, sensual way, or even in a rough kinky way. In a licking ice cream way. He did this three times, leaving slobber all over my neck. I wiped it off and told him goodnight.
A few days later he called, and I figured he had not been too psycho, so I gave him a second chance, without incident. Then came the third date. I decided I would invite him back to my place. My roommate was not home, and we would have the place to ourselves. We began kissing. All of a sudden, he stopped and asked “Are we going to have sex now?” I told him I wasn’t planning on it.
Now this statement would’ve normally been a hint to most guys. But not this one. He went on to tell me that because of his injury (he had hurt his knee in a skateboarding accident. Yes, skateboarding.) he did not think that he would be able to have sex. I stopped him by saying “I’m just kissin’ ya”. But, then he became obsessed – grilling me about whether or not I would have an orgasm if we did have sex. I kept pushing off his questions and finally he decided it was time to leave.
Then we went out again. We ended up at his place, where he had roommates that I did not know about. I was told that I had to be very quiet to make sure that I did not wake them, as they would tell his aunt (who he rented the room from) I was there, and that was against the rules. Goodbye, normal. We started kissing again, and I told him that it could not go farther, as I could not be quiet. And, I had not shaved my legs, as our date had been a last-minute thing and I did not have time to shave.
Neither of these things deterred him. He used the line I thought was only an urban myth: “can’t I just put the tip in? Just for a second? I just want to see what you feel like!” He kept pushing and pushing. I was able finally to convince him that when I said no, I meant no. Suddenly, it became too late and he told me that he needed to go to bed, effectively kicking me out. I walked to my car and realized I would never talk to him again. I would not tolerate disrespect. Such a bizarre ending to the saga of The Licker…
He seemed nice. He was attractive. He was witty. He seemed… well, normal. Being outside of the typical realm of guys I dated, I thought I might give it a go. We went on a date that involved all of the things that normal people do on dates: coffee, talking, eating, walking. Then it came time to say goodnight.
He went to shake my hand. I made fun of him for it, so he kissed me. And, despite the fact that a couple of times he tried to lick my tonsils, he was not a bad kisser. But then he stopped. He asked if I was mad at him. Being thoroughly confused, I asked him why I would be mad. He said “because I kissed you.” After internally laughing and wondering if I was possibly back in high school, I told him I was indeed not mad at him, and we went back to kissing.
Then he did it. He licked my neck. Not in a soft, sensual way, or even in a rough kinky way. In a licking ice cream way. He did this three times, leaving slobber all over my neck. I wiped it off and told him goodnight.
A few days later he called, and I figured he had not been too psycho, so I gave him a second chance, without incident. Then came the third date. I decided I would invite him back to my place. My roommate was not home, and we would have the place to ourselves. We began kissing. All of a sudden, he stopped and asked “Are we going to have sex now?” I told him I wasn’t planning on it.
Now this statement would’ve normally been a hint to most guys. But not this one. He went on to tell me that because of his injury (he had hurt his knee in a skateboarding accident. Yes, skateboarding.) he did not think that he would be able to have sex. I stopped him by saying “I’m just kissin’ ya”. But, then he became obsessed – grilling me about whether or not I would have an orgasm if we did have sex. I kept pushing off his questions and finally he decided it was time to leave.
Then we went out again. We ended up at his place, where he had roommates that I did not know about. I was told that I had to be very quiet to make sure that I did not wake them, as they would tell his aunt (who he rented the room from) I was there, and that was against the rules. Goodbye, normal. We started kissing again, and I told him that it could not go farther, as I could not be quiet. And, I had not shaved my legs, as our date had been a last-minute thing and I did not have time to shave.
Neither of these things deterred him. He used the line I thought was only an urban myth: “can’t I just put the tip in? Just for a second? I just want to see what you feel like!” He kept pushing and pushing. I was able finally to convince him that when I said no, I meant no. Suddenly, it became too late and he told me that he needed to go to bed, effectively kicking me out. I walked to my car and realized I would never talk to him again. I would not tolerate disrespect. Such a bizarre ending to the saga of The Licker…
Thursday, August 2, 2007
How to Meet a Stalker
By Rochelle Taylor
Clubs are interesting places. Girls dress in skimpy clothes, insanely high heels that make their feet hurt halfway through the line, and too much makeup. Their low-cut shirts, short, skin-tight skirts, and shiny jewelry are all carefully considered to determine which combination will draw the most male attention. The males, on the other hand, don’t spend nearly as much time worrying about how they look. Jeans, button-down shirts, shoes, gel in the hair and they are good to go.
These people all get together and stand in a ridiculously long line in order to pay a bulky man at the front door their hard-earned money. They then try to make their way to bar where they overpay for watered-down alcoholic beverages so they can have an excuse to lose their inhibitions later that night. These lucky people then stand around trying to look indifferent in hopes of attracting a member of the opposite sex without appearing to be too interested.
Despite my better judgment, the other night I went forth into the jungle in an effort to have fun with some friends. And, amazingly enough, I did. I danced with a couple of guys, I danced with my girls, I had some margaritas.
Then came my opening with the guy I had been making eye contact with all night. We were both at the bar, and I made a random comment to him that made him laugh. We began talking (if you can call shouting over the pounding beat of the music talking). Then we started dancing. Then we started dancing closer. Soon enough, you could not tell where one of us stopped and the other began. Lips brushed necks and ears and cheeks. Then we started kissing. We were virtually having sex while standing up (and fully clothed).
But, my friends were ready to leave. Luckily, I had prepared myself for just such an incident by refusing to shave my legs. This age-old trick ensured that I would not go home with the boy, despite his pleas. I gave him my phone number and went on my merry way, not thinking much of it. I figured I had seen the last of him, since he was apparently just looking for a one-night stand.
But, much to my surprise, he called the very next morning just as I got to work. I did not pick up, as I did not have time to talk to him. He left an entirely normal message, throwing in bits of our conversation from the previous night to ensure that I knew who he was.
After work, I returned two other voice mails I had received first. While I was on the phone with one of my girlfriends, he called again. After I got off the phone with her, I listened to the second voice mail he had left. He mentioned his name and number and where I had met him the night before. But then, it got creepy.
He said “I hope you remember me. I have called you twice now and you haven’t called me back. I just want to see if you are willing to finish what you started.” Hello, stalker. This guy had just committed every sin that any female has ever been accused of. He was clingy, needy and demanding. He called twice in less than eight hours. Every rule of dating had officially been broken.
Yet, somehow, I was motivated to call him. I was afraid that if I didn’t, my voice mail would be full in a week. I knew that it was the only way to stop him from continually calling.
Luckily, when I called, he seemed quite normal. He apologized that he had forgotten that I had to work so late. And, he even invited me on a perfectly normal date. I accepted graciously. I shall see if he exhibits further stalker behavior. Maybe to play it safe, I should meet him in public for our first date. No need to show stalker boy where I live…
Clubs are interesting places. Girls dress in skimpy clothes, insanely high heels that make their feet hurt halfway through the line, and too much makeup. Their low-cut shirts, short, skin-tight skirts, and shiny jewelry are all carefully considered to determine which combination will draw the most male attention. The males, on the other hand, don’t spend nearly as much time worrying about how they look. Jeans, button-down shirts, shoes, gel in the hair and they are good to go.
These people all get together and stand in a ridiculously long line in order to pay a bulky man at the front door their hard-earned money. They then try to make their way to bar where they overpay for watered-down alcoholic beverages so they can have an excuse to lose their inhibitions later that night. These lucky people then stand around trying to look indifferent in hopes of attracting a member of the opposite sex without appearing to be too interested.
Despite my better judgment, the other night I went forth into the jungle in an effort to have fun with some friends. And, amazingly enough, I did. I danced with a couple of guys, I danced with my girls, I had some margaritas.
Then came my opening with the guy I had been making eye contact with all night. We were both at the bar, and I made a random comment to him that made him laugh. We began talking (if you can call shouting over the pounding beat of the music talking). Then we started dancing. Then we started dancing closer. Soon enough, you could not tell where one of us stopped and the other began. Lips brushed necks and ears and cheeks. Then we started kissing. We were virtually having sex while standing up (and fully clothed).
But, my friends were ready to leave. Luckily, I had prepared myself for just such an incident by refusing to shave my legs. This age-old trick ensured that I would not go home with the boy, despite his pleas. I gave him my phone number and went on my merry way, not thinking much of it. I figured I had seen the last of him, since he was apparently just looking for a one-night stand.
But, much to my surprise, he called the very next morning just as I got to work. I did not pick up, as I did not have time to talk to him. He left an entirely normal message, throwing in bits of our conversation from the previous night to ensure that I knew who he was.
After work, I returned two other voice mails I had received first. While I was on the phone with one of my girlfriends, he called again. After I got off the phone with her, I listened to the second voice mail he had left. He mentioned his name and number and where I had met him the night before. But then, it got creepy.
He said “I hope you remember me. I have called you twice now and you haven’t called me back. I just want to see if you are willing to finish what you started.” Hello, stalker. This guy had just committed every sin that any female has ever been accused of. He was clingy, needy and demanding. He called twice in less than eight hours. Every rule of dating had officially been broken.
Yet, somehow, I was motivated to call him. I was afraid that if I didn’t, my voice mail would be full in a week. I knew that it was the only way to stop him from continually calling.
Luckily, when I called, he seemed quite normal. He apologized that he had forgotten that I had to work so late. And, he even invited me on a perfectly normal date. I accepted graciously. I shall see if he exhibits further stalker behavior. Maybe to play it safe, I should meet him in public for our first date. No need to show stalker boy where I live…
How Old is Too Old For Casual Dating?
By K.C. Morgan
Single, at an Older Age
When you’re young and single, the world is full of possibilities. There are lots of other young singles to connect with, lots of opportunities to meet new people, and plenty of activities to enjoy together. But, being divorced, widowed, or single at a more advanced age can feel very, very lonely. Today’s singles’ scene seems to be a meat market for the young…and that makes finding an age-appropriate mate a very big task.
You may not be ready to be married or even to commit to a serious relationship, but does that mean you can’t enjoy casual dating? Absolutely not! Even for older singles, there is a thriving and active community out there where you can find someone to spend time with, and it doesn’t have to get any more serious than that (unless, you want it to!).
Find Age-Appropriate Mates
For older singles, going to singles’ mixers and bars is little more than a waste of time. Such places are for younger daters, and only 9% of women and 2% of men have said they’ve found a relationship in a bar or club. There are some places to find singles from another generation, however. A good place to start is through assisted living communities. Even if you don’t live in one of these places, they often put together events and mixers that allow seniors to mingle. Often, churches organize events for older singles as well. Also, don’t give up on the online community. There are plenty of older singles who use matchmaking sites.
Are You Compatible?
No one wants to waste their time by going out on bad first dates. A good way to avoid this is to determine how compatible you are with your potential date. Use the following mental checklist to see if the date is worth the effort:
Is it easy to make conversation?
Do you have a few things in common?
Do you enjoy some of the same things?
Most importantly, do you enjoy the time you have spent together?
Are They Interested?
Sometimes, you may have a candidate in mind when you’re considering a date. Find out if they’re interested by looking for a few warning signs:
They approach you for conversation.
They make it a point to seek you out – either for a friendly smile, a wave, or a greeting.
They remember details about you, i.e. likes and dislikes, your regular habits, etc.
They invite you to group activities and events with friends.
Ask Them Out!
Even when you feel ready to date and you’re interested in someone who’s probably interested in you, asking someone out is a frightening experience. The fear of rejection is huge – but don’t let it be enough to stop you. If you’d like to go on a date with a certain person, the key to saving face (even in the face of rejection) is keeping it casual. Make it sound like a simple suggestion when you see each other out and about – “would you like to go get a cup of coffee?” for example.
Single, at an Older Age
When you’re young and single, the world is full of possibilities. There are lots of other young singles to connect with, lots of opportunities to meet new people, and plenty of activities to enjoy together. But, being divorced, widowed, or single at a more advanced age can feel very, very lonely. Today’s singles’ scene seems to be a meat market for the young…and that makes finding an age-appropriate mate a very big task.
You may not be ready to be married or even to commit to a serious relationship, but does that mean you can’t enjoy casual dating? Absolutely not! Even for older singles, there is a thriving and active community out there where you can find someone to spend time with, and it doesn’t have to get any more serious than that (unless, you want it to!).
Find Age-Appropriate Mates
For older singles, going to singles’ mixers and bars is little more than a waste of time. Such places are for younger daters, and only 9% of women and 2% of men have said they’ve found a relationship in a bar or club. There are some places to find singles from another generation, however. A good place to start is through assisted living communities. Even if you don’t live in one of these places, they often put together events and mixers that allow seniors to mingle. Often, churches organize events for older singles as well. Also, don’t give up on the online community. There are plenty of older singles who use matchmaking sites.
Are You Compatible?
No one wants to waste their time by going out on bad first dates. A good way to avoid this is to determine how compatible you are with your potential date. Use the following mental checklist to see if the date is worth the effort:
Is it easy to make conversation?
Do you have a few things in common?
Do you enjoy some of the same things?
Most importantly, do you enjoy the time you have spent together?
Are They Interested?
Sometimes, you may have a candidate in mind when you’re considering a date. Find out if they’re interested by looking for a few warning signs:
They approach you for conversation.
They make it a point to seek you out – either for a friendly smile, a wave, or a greeting.
They remember details about you, i.e. likes and dislikes, your regular habits, etc.
They invite you to group activities and events with friends.
Ask Them Out!
Even when you feel ready to date and you’re interested in someone who’s probably interested in you, asking someone out is a frightening experience. The fear of rejection is huge – but don’t let it be enough to stop you. If you’d like to go on a date with a certain person, the key to saving face (even in the face of rejection) is keeping it casual. Make it sound like a simple suggestion when you see each other out and about – “would you like to go get a cup of coffee?” for example.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Can Long-Distance Dating Work?
By K.C. Morgan
When you meet someone that you have a real connection and real chemistry with, it seems almost like a miracle. When you find out that same someone has to live far away from you, it seems doomed. But, is it? The truth about long distance dating is this: it can work, but only in the short term.
The Internet has opened up a whole new realm of long distance dating, making separated relationships a mainstream diversion for the lovelorn. With any relationship, there are dating hurdles to overcome. With long distance dating, there are a few more. Problems you’ll probably encounter with a long distance relationship include:
Jealousy. Usually a factor in all relationships, jealousy often becomes more acute when there’s a real distance between the two of you. The only way to cope with jealousy is through trust – the cornerstone of any healthy relationship.
Loneliness. When your sweetie is far away, you’re going to suffer all kinds of lonely pains. Holidays are especially tough, and being around other couples will make the wound seem to hurt a little more. Combat this by maintaining an active social life with your friends, spending time with single people, and spending plenty of time communicating with your partner via phone, letters, and e-mail.
Expenses. If you expect to see each other in the flesh at all (and you should, as often as possible, just to keep the chemistry alive), you’re going to rack up a lot of travel expenses. The burden of travel is something that should be shared by both parties, to make it a little more doable. Creative budgeting and saving (and making travel arrangements several weeks in advance) can help cut down on these expenses, and make it easier for you two to spend real time together.
No matter how well you two make the long distance thing work, it’s a situation that can’t go on for ever. If you want to enjoy a true, committed relationship, the two of you have to at least live in the same city eventually. Long distance dating only works in the short term, because at some point you’re both going to want more. Before it all falls apart, you’re going to have to consider a more permanent solution to the distance between the two of you. Otherwise, you’re really just wasting your time on something that can’t possibly last. After all…you don’t want to get married by proxy, do you?
When you meet someone that you have a real connection and real chemistry with, it seems almost like a miracle. When you find out that same someone has to live far away from you, it seems doomed. But, is it? The truth about long distance dating is this: it can work, but only in the short term.
The Internet has opened up a whole new realm of long distance dating, making separated relationships a mainstream diversion for the lovelorn. With any relationship, there are dating hurdles to overcome. With long distance dating, there are a few more. Problems you’ll probably encounter with a long distance relationship include:
Jealousy. Usually a factor in all relationships, jealousy often becomes more acute when there’s a real distance between the two of you. The only way to cope with jealousy is through trust – the cornerstone of any healthy relationship.
Loneliness. When your sweetie is far away, you’re going to suffer all kinds of lonely pains. Holidays are especially tough, and being around other couples will make the wound seem to hurt a little more. Combat this by maintaining an active social life with your friends, spending time with single people, and spending plenty of time communicating with your partner via phone, letters, and e-mail.
Expenses. If you expect to see each other in the flesh at all (and you should, as often as possible, just to keep the chemistry alive), you’re going to rack up a lot of travel expenses. The burden of travel is something that should be shared by both parties, to make it a little more doable. Creative budgeting and saving (and making travel arrangements several weeks in advance) can help cut down on these expenses, and make it easier for you two to spend real time together.
No matter how well you two make the long distance thing work, it’s a situation that can’t go on for ever. If you want to enjoy a true, committed relationship, the two of you have to at least live in the same city eventually. Long distance dating only works in the short term, because at some point you’re both going to want more. Before it all falls apart, you’re going to have to consider a more permanent solution to the distance between the two of you. Otherwise, you’re really just wasting your time on something that can’t possibly last. After all…you don’t want to get married by proxy, do you?
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
How to Tell if Your Partner Has Been Cheating
By Sarah Cook
Most of us tend to believe that it’s hard to tell whether or not the one we love is cheating on us. That can sometimes be the case, but usually only if you’re lying to yourself. If you’ve come to believe that it “just couldn’t be,” then you’ll never see it as so, and will in turn be missing out on the truth.
So, how do you remain honest enough with yourself to be mindfully awake enough to know when your honey is doin’ you wrong? Here are ten easy-to-recognize signs that your partner is being unfaithful.
1. Your partner is suddenly “working late” and spends a noticeably less amount of time at home.
2. Your partner becomes sexually distant and cuts way back on the sex, or, seems to have lost interest in making love altogether.
3. Your partner stops bringing you around his or her friends, and makes awkward excuses as to why.
4. If you’re married, your partner starts “accidentally” leaving his or her wedding ring at home on more than one occasion.
5. Unexpected phone calls come to the house that just happen to be “wrong numbers” or random “buddies” who go unnamed.
6. Your partner starts regular fights with you over what would appear to be nothing…things you wouldn’t have fought about before.
7. Your partner has boy or girl friends that he or she doesn’t ever bring around you, and instead, is always “meeting.”
8. You partner is suddenly emotionally detached – doesn’t want to talk about things, doesn’t want to spend time with you, doesn’t have much to say in general.
9. Your partner becomes less affectionate and does less and less hand-holding, cuddling, and kissing.
10. Your partner starts lying to you about little things, possibly covering up the bigger ones.
We all know what a bummer it is to be cheated on, and it isn’t something we have to put up with. If you’re a fair and honest person, you deserve a fair and honest person as your partner. If any of these signs are existing in your relationship and your partner refuses to talk through them, or, if the talking doesn’t seem to work, couples therapy is your best bet. And, if he or she refuses that option, well, the solution is clear – love yourself enough to say goodbye and open your arms to the possibility of a new and more beautiful relationship in the future.
Most of us tend to believe that it’s hard to tell whether or not the one we love is cheating on us. That can sometimes be the case, but usually only if you’re lying to yourself. If you’ve come to believe that it “just couldn’t be,” then you’ll never see it as so, and will in turn be missing out on the truth.
So, how do you remain honest enough with yourself to be mindfully awake enough to know when your honey is doin’ you wrong? Here are ten easy-to-recognize signs that your partner is being unfaithful.
1. Your partner is suddenly “working late” and spends a noticeably less amount of time at home.
2. Your partner becomes sexually distant and cuts way back on the sex, or, seems to have lost interest in making love altogether.
3. Your partner stops bringing you around his or her friends, and makes awkward excuses as to why.
4. If you’re married, your partner starts “accidentally” leaving his or her wedding ring at home on more than one occasion.
5. Unexpected phone calls come to the house that just happen to be “wrong numbers” or random “buddies” who go unnamed.
6. Your partner starts regular fights with you over what would appear to be nothing…things you wouldn’t have fought about before.
7. Your partner has boy or girl friends that he or she doesn’t ever bring around you, and instead, is always “meeting.”
8. You partner is suddenly emotionally detached – doesn’t want to talk about things, doesn’t want to spend time with you, doesn’t have much to say in general.
9. Your partner becomes less affectionate and does less and less hand-holding, cuddling, and kissing.
10. Your partner starts lying to you about little things, possibly covering up the bigger ones.
We all know what a bummer it is to be cheated on, and it isn’t something we have to put up with. If you’re a fair and honest person, you deserve a fair and honest person as your partner. If any of these signs are existing in your relationship and your partner refuses to talk through them, or, if the talking doesn’t seem to work, couples therapy is your best bet. And, if he or she refuses that option, well, the solution is clear – love yourself enough to say goodbye and open your arms to the possibility of a new and more beautiful relationship in the future.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Even the Television Knows…
By Sarah Cook
Is there even such a thing as a wonderful relationship? Of course there is, but, is there such thing as a wonderful relationship that actually lasts, and stays wonderful? I’m thoroughly convinced that only one out of ten of us gets to experience the beauty that is an ongoing and functional partnership. Take Grey’s Anatomy, for example.
You’ve got Dr. McDreamy and Meredith, two doctors that are absolutely perfect for one another, yet can’t seem to make it together due to the random circumstances that surround them. It seems like such a rare thing when you actually get to be with someone that you really want. Usually, you want someone that doesn’t want you back, or vice-versa. Or, you want someone that wants you back, but that you can never have, because universal fate simply won’t allow it. Well, why the hell not?
Why can’t it just be easy? It seems like, nowadays, the idea of fate is so distorted that we spend our time looking for something better, more meaningful, and different than what we’re used to. It’s like we’re never content with ourselves in a relationship unless it’s ideal. No huge problems, no drama, no bullshit. Does that type of thing even exist? I’m thinking no. Because, we as humans are such huge drama queens we can’t seem to live a day-to-day life without making a constant spectacle of ourselves. So, there has to be an in-between. A relationship that has the drama, but only grows stronger because of it. A relationship that doesn’t get boring, leaving you to wonder if anything better is out there. A relationship that is content, unselfish, and true.
Say Dr. McDreamy and Meredith could actually be together for the long-run, without any ex-wives or Dr. McSteamy coming into the picture. Would they last? Of course they would. Because theirs is the kind of love that makes heads turn; the kind of love that we all wish we could have, but instead, we seek through television, as rarely do we get to experience it ourselves. We can only live vicariously through characters that aren’t even real, but are there to depict a reality few of us will have. So, why isn’t the love simply enough? Why is it that two people who adore one another and have the power within themselves to be happy together just can’t seem to make it happen? It’s as though the universe is bored, and playing one hell of a joke on all of us. As though we are a means of jumbled, dramatic entertainment that will only continue to work on raising the already-high divorce rate in America.
We are raised to believe that intimate relationships are necessary, and they definitely are. Without that one-on-one contact with another human, we are simply dark and incomplete. So, how do we find that contact with someone we actually want to be with, who actually wants to be with us? Do we just keep waiting, hoping that “what’s meant to be will be,” or do we try to force it, maintaining a persistent state of mind with all potential candidates that cross our paths? Either way, we seem screwed. Life is a television show, and we are simply the actors and actresses that don’t get a say when everything explodes in our faces. After all, if Dr. McDreamy and Meredith can’t seem to make it happen, who can? Oh, that’s right – the mere ten percent of society who has actually found what they’re looking for. Congratulations to those of you – you’re truly lucky, and hated by the rest of us.
For more from this talented writer, click here.
Is there even such a thing as a wonderful relationship? Of course there is, but, is there such thing as a wonderful relationship that actually lasts, and stays wonderful? I’m thoroughly convinced that only one out of ten of us gets to experience the beauty that is an ongoing and functional partnership. Take Grey’s Anatomy, for example.
You’ve got Dr. McDreamy and Meredith, two doctors that are absolutely perfect for one another, yet can’t seem to make it together due to the random circumstances that surround them. It seems like such a rare thing when you actually get to be with someone that you really want. Usually, you want someone that doesn’t want you back, or vice-versa. Or, you want someone that wants you back, but that you can never have, because universal fate simply won’t allow it. Well, why the hell not?
Why can’t it just be easy? It seems like, nowadays, the idea of fate is so distorted that we spend our time looking for something better, more meaningful, and different than what we’re used to. It’s like we’re never content with ourselves in a relationship unless it’s ideal. No huge problems, no drama, no bullshit. Does that type of thing even exist? I’m thinking no. Because, we as humans are such huge drama queens we can’t seem to live a day-to-day life without making a constant spectacle of ourselves. So, there has to be an in-between. A relationship that has the drama, but only grows stronger because of it. A relationship that doesn’t get boring, leaving you to wonder if anything better is out there. A relationship that is content, unselfish, and true.
Say Dr. McDreamy and Meredith could actually be together for the long-run, without any ex-wives or Dr. McSteamy coming into the picture. Would they last? Of course they would. Because theirs is the kind of love that makes heads turn; the kind of love that we all wish we could have, but instead, we seek through television, as rarely do we get to experience it ourselves. We can only live vicariously through characters that aren’t even real, but are there to depict a reality few of us will have. So, why isn’t the love simply enough? Why is it that two people who adore one another and have the power within themselves to be happy together just can’t seem to make it happen? It’s as though the universe is bored, and playing one hell of a joke on all of us. As though we are a means of jumbled, dramatic entertainment that will only continue to work on raising the already-high divorce rate in America.
We are raised to believe that intimate relationships are necessary, and they definitely are. Without that one-on-one contact with another human, we are simply dark and incomplete. So, how do we find that contact with someone we actually want to be with, who actually wants to be with us? Do we just keep waiting, hoping that “what’s meant to be will be,” or do we try to force it, maintaining a persistent state of mind with all potential candidates that cross our paths? Either way, we seem screwed. Life is a television show, and we are simply the actors and actresses that don’t get a say when everything explodes in our faces. After all, if Dr. McDreamy and Meredith can’t seem to make it happen, who can? Oh, that’s right – the mere ten percent of society who has actually found what they’re looking for. Congratulations to those of you – you’re truly lucky, and hated by the rest of us.
For more from this talented writer, click here.
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